Are you a caring guy, or a guy with candor? Is it possible to have both in one person?
Absolutely! Just follow the writings of St. Paul of Tarsus. Many believers think he just goes too far at times: “Throw him out of the church” and “I’ve turned him over to Satan so he might afflict him for a while.” Who gives him the right to judge members of a church?
Other times, you see him incredibly nurturing, kind, and patient, honoring a simple person who did something faithfully (Epaphroditus). He prays, suffers, and fasts for his churches, his apprentices, and co-workers. Often he weeps for them. Is that the way Jesus would do it? Yes, again.
Read Christ’s words. See Him trash-talking the money-changers and priests in the temple—all while beating them with a whip He made with His own hands! Then there are the two bar-ish brawls He started—not by grabbing a stool, but by flipping over tables! He rebukes the Pharisees and Sadducees in some of the most vulgar, “unpolite,” and humiliating ways. Even with Peter, a man who was close to being His best friend, He lashes out: “Get away from me, Satan—get behind Me!”
We see Him crouched low to the ground, risking His life for the woman caught in bed with another woman’s husband. Then, in another story, He places loving hands and arms around little kids—even as the disciples try to shoo them away.
It’s hard to admit, but any issue we may have with a judging Jesus, with His “candor-like,” blunt, unfiltered straight-talking—even caustic behavior—is OUR problem, not His. Maybe we’ve been brainwashed that God is always NICE: gentle, meek, and mild. That may align with some people’s chosen view of God, but it’s more of a maternal view of love that’s gone limp and spineless. Any form of motherly love, or other kinds of love, as strong as it may feel, falls far below the high standard of agape—God’s entirely selfless love.
If the “Nice God-view” is your thing, it flies in the face of reality. It may be a symptom that either:
You don’t spend the first part of your day studying God’s Word and bringing it into your heart and life.
You’re listening to lazy preachers who self-medicate by overemphasizing the New Testament.
You’ve constructed a God who doesn’t exist to support your false belief that GRACE is everything.
If any of these are true, you’ll need to seek the Lord and the whole Bible with all your heart and make serious changes (repent) as you do.
“Well, Arthur, I’m not comfortable with the God of the Old Testament—I’m more of a New Testament Believer.”
Consider 2 Timothy 3:16, Paul’s oft-quoted validation: “All Scripture is God-breathed and able to teach us righteous living (with fruits of good works).” What “Scripture” was Paul referencing? There was NO New Testament writing yet deemed “Scripture.” Paul was exclusively talking about the Old Covenant! The apostle lived and breathed Old Testament Scripture. His letters, at the time, were seen as anointed teachings—not Scripture. That label came in the 4th century AD.
This “never judge anyone” idea is nonsense. You and I judge constantly. When someone steals your parking spot, blocks you in, or acts cluelessly self-centered—you judge. You even judge others for being “judgmental.” We pick friends by judging: Are they trustworthy? Do they align with my preferences? Will associating with them harm my reputation? Choosing which party or event to attend is classic judgmentalism.
Paul actually rebukes the Corinthian church for NOT judging righteously. He intimates we must learn to judge rightly because “Don’t you know you’ll judge the angels?”
In closing: Judge others well—without being judgmental. Cultivate discernment between evil and good. Speak truth (a command), not limp flattery for popularity or fear of offense. What if their behavior leads them to Hell? Will your “niceness,” devoid of courageous warning, bear responsibility? Often, we’re “nice” out of fear, not love.
There’s little risk in acting nice. Jesus—and His disciple Paul—walked in loving-kindness and courageous candor. They bid us do likewise.